holy week traditions

today is easter sunday.this means holy week is over and so is my vacation :(

for 7 years now, i've been spending holy week here in cainta. since papa died, our family never got the chance to spend holy week in pangasinan anymore. i truly miss those years when we, as family would travel and do annual holy week traditions together.aside from visiting our folks there, we used to visit the shrine of our lady of manaoag completing our 13-week novena and would go straight to annual family outing.usually, we were like 3-4 families having the grandest times of our lives...those were the days. everything's too different now...aside from papa having the grandest time of his life partying with God and His angels now, Tito Danny's family is also residing in New York for the past 10 years.we just couldn't do stuff just like before anymore, moving on is the only way to go.

for the past 4 years, i've been doing visita iglesia every holy thursday with my SFC friends. during our first year of doing this, we visited some churches in rizal and some in manila then years therefater, we've just been visiting rizal. nothing beats the first time we did this because seeing the old churches really amazed me primarily because i love classic architecture and seeing "ruins" never fails to excite my blood. it has always been like this...i remember my photography classes in college, since the manila area was the nearest place we can visit, we used to visit intramuros and quiapo a lot for our requirements and maybe since i'm quite used to taking pictures of congested areas, the serenity ambiance of rizal province was really something new for me four years ago...the years thereafter, it's like seeing the churches again the first time.

here are some classics....

sfc east a 1c

familias sa visita iglesia (familia junio at familia sfc east a {1c with 1b}) lunch at kainan sa hardin. sorry, no pix while we were eating, gutom na lahat kaya heto na langour jeepney ride.hanep, may "assurance", just push the "botton"

how i spent my good friday was like another new tradition which we started last year. my sisters, brother-in-law and myself joined the annual procession here in Cainta which features the different images of mary all dressed in glory.the procession started from our lady of light parish then we went to different barangays then from marick subdivision almost near junction, we made a u-turn going back to the parish again. it was an almost 2-hour walk, although i would experience some grasping of breath moments (hehehe!), nothing seriously bad happened to me and the miracle of all miracles is that my legs didn't hurt.

hmmm, i know that during lent i should be fasting...well, i did, really (chuckle)! okay, so meat is not really my favorite that's why i've eaten more when veggies & fish were served on the table and when i say i more, i mean MORE... like 3 cups of rice :) but hey, i've given up a week of drinking coffee during the lent, that's my own sacrifice since i know that not eating meat isn't much of a sacrifice for me so i might as well sacrifice the one i truly love...coffee!

3-ann and 3rd will be spending summer vacation here that's why our house is again jam-packed and laughter-filled ! it's really so nice to have them back, minsan nagsasawa na rin talaga ako na kami na lang lagi ni jm magkasama eh. (hahaha!)

A Different Approach to Fasting...

here's one e-mail in my inbox this morning...very timely for lent.

Fasts have a tendency to be oriented toward things like giving up food or television. But there are many other creative ways we can welcome Jesus' healing touch.Here are suggestions you may want to consider.

1. Fast from anger and hatred.
Give your family an extra dose of love each day.

2. Fast from judging others.
Before making any judgments, recall howJesus overlooks our faults.

3. Fast from discouragement.
Hold on to Jesus' promise that He has a perfect plan for your life.

4. Fast from complaining.
When you find yourself about to complain,close your eyes and recall some of the little moments of joy Jesus has given you.

5. Fast from resentment or bitterness!.
Work on forgiving those who mayhave hurt you.

6. Fast from spending too much money.
Try to reduce your spending by ten percent and give those savings to the poor

hmmmm, that's some fasting... should i rather fast from watching television? hahaha!

'ey please pray for me. i'll be going home to pangasinan tomorrow afternoon to fetch my siblings and i'll be travelling alone (nde na ba ko nasanay?). basta, prayers please, i'll be back on saturday :)

here's to endings and beginnings

endings

31st march always ends the company's fiscal year.for a job well done (we hit 94% of our management target), we had free lunch (yummy, yummy northpark food!) and the region declared half-day of operations.we started the day actually, with the usual fiscal year-ending review of what we have achieved and our future targets, goals & upcoming promos. i thought it was just one one of those usual reviews that we usually have as we end the fiscal year, i never thought it would be that emotional. just as our country manager, sir chito, was concluding his presentation, he said "my task is done"...believe me, question marks (and a lot at that!) flashed through my head. and so there, he bid goodbye to everyone and told us he's leaving the company for another job and he's leaving us with the company's strongest post so far. he wasn't leaving because the company is not doing good, the figures he presented earlier proved so.i almost cried with his announcement.aside from being the country manager, he actually took the post of an acting marketing manager when my previous boss decided to just concentrate on sales. i was directly reporting to him prior to the arrival of the new boss. though short, our working relationship actually created so much impact on me...he inspired me to be better because he's really, really bright and very knowledgable.i wish i can be like him in the future..that is someone who truly knows my work and the company's business.he's also CFC so if i tell him that i'll be attending build, household and all the other community service, he understands.i was really shocked of the news, i never had clues or whatsoever prior to his announcement. until now, i still haven't recovered. this is a first for me actually because for the last 4 jobs that i had, i was the one leaving my bosses and the companies i've worked for.now, i know how it feels...it's sad, really sad.i hate goodbyes.

to end and thank the big man above for all our blessings, we also celebrated mass in the office. the homily was really good, father ben talked about letting Jesus be seen in us. father stressed that Jesus is our co-worker, in every decision we make, in every step we take, He wants to be part of all these.he ended the homily with the the usual saying that we as SFCs are very familiar with...let go and let God.

beginnings

our national sales manager, sir glenn, was promoted to take the post of the new country manager.as he was giving a short message, he wasn't able to hold his tears.he told us he didn't really aspire for the title nor dreamt of actually reporting to the region's general manager, he's quite contented of what he has now but God gave him a new challenge or let's say a broader horizon of responsibilities and he willingly took it.btw, he's also CFC :) as for sir chito, he also asked for prayers so that the he'll be able to handle the new challenges that he'll be facing in the company he'll be working for.

new fiscal year will officially start tomorrow...i'm actually afraid and yet excited.

to sir chito, we'll truly miss you. until now, i can't imagine rs ph without you.

to sir glenn, be not afraid.rs ph team is here to always support you.

birthday & name

i chanced upon this site that a friend of mine forwarded. it's supposed to tell what your birthday says about you & what your name means....hmmm, i'm not really into these kind of things because in SFC we were taught not to believe in such but i'd like to share the results as well...based on how i know myself, there are some truths about the results. here's a glimpse...

BIRTHDAY : SEPTEMBER 16, 19_ _

Your date of conception was on or about 24 December 19_ _ which was a Saturday. (christmas eve ??? hmmm....interesting...hahaha!)

You were born on a Saturday under the astrological sign Virgo.Your Life path number is 5.
As of 3/30/2006 3:13:08 AM EST

You are _ _ years old.
You are 330 months old.
You are 1,437 weeks old.
You are 10,057 days old.
You are 241,371 hours old.
You are 14,482,273 minutes old.
You are 868,936,388 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.93620352250489 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your birthstone is Sapphire.

The Mystical properties of Sapphire though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Sapphire is used for clear thinking.

Your birth tree is Lime Tree, the Doubt
Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way (?), hates fighting, stress and labour (!), tends to laziness and idleness(!) , soft and relenting (?), makes sacrifices for friends (?), many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom(!), often wailing and complaining(?), very jealous(?), loyal(!).

The moon's phase on the day you were born was waxing gibbous.

FULL NAME: J_ _ _ _ _NN JUNIO

There are 13 letters in your name.Those 13 letters total to 60.There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 6
The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.(!!!!!!)

The expression or destiny for #6:The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.

The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.

If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1
A Soul Urge number of 1 means: Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 5
An Inner Dream number of 5 means: You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.

you can tell how above descriptions fit me (grabe, even the negative ones!). i know there's scientific explanation to this, all i know is that numerology is also a science...whatever! (math pa rin yun, i don't wanna dig deeper into it, nose bleed ito!). i'm quite contented that my knowledge in astrology ends with my fascination with the sight of beautiful heavenly bodies such as the stars & the moon.

for the fun of it,
check out the birthday calculator for all sorts of fun facts about you and your birthday, and find out what your name means and says about you.

refreshing

just arrived from eastwood.

right after hearing anticipated mass we(ate jhett,kokoy,anna e. & myself) fetched ria and had dinner at max's eastwood then we had coffee after, as usual.it was really like the old times...i kinda missed this group, we're almost the same age-group in sfc.ria's the youngest among us (pero hindi halata, hahaha!), anna is just 2 months older than me, kokoy & ate jhett are the same age. lately in sfc, i was always with the 30-ish group.although i don't really feel so young around them (since i can still in some ways relate to them)but sometimes, i also look forward to being with my contemporaries maybe because we speak the same language and we're both dealing with the same stage of life. over coffee, we talked about a lot of things ---my new malaysian so-called crush, ria's so-called break-up, anna's so-called fashion 101, etc...(noticed? everything's "so-called", all topics are quite non-sense actually). we're actually in situations in finding ourselves, anna & i being the realistic ones, we just deal with life in whatever way life wants to present life to us...in other words, we deal with whatever is in our faces unlike ria the so-called idealistic, she has always this "realizations", "analysis" and stuff...she deals with life "intellectually".there's really nothing wrong with that, different strokes for different folks.my sis on the other hand is just helping out...setting up ria for another date when she's ready, helping anna with her fashion dilemma, blahblahblah...we also made plans for summer ---next week's wave 89.1's anniversary,beach, belly dancing, pig-out (our priority!), shopping in divisoria, etc.... sana kahit isa may matuloy :) the gathering was quite refreshing...for quite some time, we weren't able to hang out together, we were too busy last year...ate jhett& kokoy were too busy preparing for their wedding, ria was dealing with a romantic relationship, anna was busy with work and hiding from us (hehehe!) & i was too busy working.at least, for the first time in months i wasn't able to talk about sometimes-stressful sfc service and very stressful corporate life... whoaaaaaa!

no boundaries

i've been posting most of my SFC activities lately, let me now share about work.

last march 8-11, rs south asia (philippines, singapore, malaysia & thailand) gathered together at phuket island, thailand for our fy07 business launch, no boundaries. this was quite a big event since this was the first time that all countries in the region gathered together in one event. there were some country level preparations that were done prior to the launch and being in the marketing department means bulk of the job was on us. i hated it, part of me was honestly wishing that this phuket event would not push through ( hey, i did not wish for another tsunami, okay ? )

1st night - gala dinner

few hours after our long trip (PH team had to take connecting flight from SG to phuket since we're quite a big group, no airline w/ direct flight to phuket could accommodate us), we bathed and prepared ourselves for the formal dinner. the girls were supposed to wear cocktail dress and the guys should wear coat & tie (hmmm, to be fair to all, no national costume should be worn...the filipino guys could have bragged about our very unique & elegant barong tagalog, tsk,tsk,tsk). i wore a blue green cocktail dress w/c i borrowed from my sister (thanks ate jhett!), my roommate cum fashion-guru, lyn braided my hair and provided me with accessories.again, thanks to my sponsors (hehehe!) .

1st night's highlights were the following:

a) RS PH grabbed the South Asia Sales Champion Award (congrats kaye!)

b) RS PH grabbed 1st place in the Karaoke Competition (as expected, hehehe!). we were asked to have a representative to sing one slow song & one fast song...no boundaries, we can be as creatively crazy as we can...our Distributors Sales Channel Manager, Mickey represented PH. he sang "the way you look tonight" & "crazy little thing called love"...RS girls served as back-up dancers.

c) lastly, our first taste of Thailand's gay community...i felt insulted...they were so pretty and sexy.

2nd day - seminar

this was the business launch proper. the annual briefing on catalogue changes & new highlights for the coming FY was given to us. the "best piggy bank" winners were also awarded, congrats Ronald for grabbing the award for ODS Category. i think and you can call me bias (i don't care!) that among all the countries, PH's piggy banks were creatively done. after lunch, we had break-up sessions for our country discussion which mostly revolved on sales.

after the seminar, we had dinner and shopping...i enjoyed dinner more (one un-girly trait of mine). since phuket is actually a tourist destination, most of the items are really expensive. some items being sold there can actually be bought in boracay,divisoria, greenhills, tiendesitas, st.francis square...basta tiangge for a cheaper price. the vendors there are not as friendly and as accommodating compared to filipino people. i don't know if it's just thai people's manner of speaking or in some ways, they were discriminating us because we're obviously asians unlike the majority of their visitors who are mostly europeans...hey, don't we both belong to third world countries? you should know how to empathize, huh?!

3rd day - sports & creative events

third day was mainly focused on recreation, a very competitive recreation at that.to select the over-all champion, 10% of the criteria will be coming from the day 1 videoke competition, 40% from sports competition (water polo, beach volleyball, soccer) & 50% on creative competition (print ad, tv ad, radio ad & fashion show). i think all countries equalled in sports events.

since i'm asthmatic, i wasn't able to join any of the sports events and i was stuck in modelling. can you imagine? with my height, i looked like someone modelling for pre-teen garments or someone joining little miss philippines, hehehe. we actually modelled clothings which we decorated with rs products (cables, wires, capacitors, resistors, etc...) i enjoyed decorating the clothes actually. it's one of the pre-launch activities i've done. others are also creative stuff like the print ad, radio ad, tv ad and of course dance practices for the videoke competition.we were actually applauded when we modelled (can you believe that?). we did professional cat walk which i've just learned few hours before the show. we weren't able to practice when we were in PH office.due to PH's limited resources (RS PH is the only country without a warehouse thus we have very limited products to showcase), malaysia was able to beat us.

well, my honest opinion is that, they did not actually do a fashion show, they were trying so hard to be funny...but i must admit they do have a good showcase of rs products..that made them win. in terms of the advertisements, ph's advertisements are the ones with professionally- conceptualized campaign but not done professionally i must admit, since all the shooting & editing were done in-house. in fairness, ours are the ones that you can consider commercials.. short yet concise, messages clearly sent through to the audience. i don't know if you can call a 3 minute- testimonial or music video a tv commercial? how about an almost 2 -minute radio contest? is that a radio commercial??? so there, since the so-called fashion show had so much impact, malaysia placed over-all champion, philippines as 1st runner- up & singapore as 2nd runner-up. i don't wanna sound bitter but for someone who majored in advertising, my fair judgement is that our team should have won... in our hearts, we know we didn't exert so much effort in terms of preparations unlike malaysia so it's really okay if they grabbed the prize, they've worked so hard for it, in that sense alone, they deserved the championship they've won.

afer the program, we had the chance to do whatever we want so lynn and i toured the place and took more pictures.we had dinner in the sidewalk and believe me the food is equally sumptuous as the ones you can eat in fancy restaurants.i was able to dip in the pool when we went back to the hotel...night swimming at its best.

4th day - farewell

last day was spent in travelling back to manila. phuket is such a nice place, i would love to go back if given another chance.

my reasonable excuse for my blogging absence

my blogging absence for so long do not actually mean that i have no story to tell, in fact, i've gathered quite a number of worth blogging ones that i'm having a hard time starting. before stories pile up even more, i think i better start. . .

SFC REVOLUTION
only my 2nd SFC International Leaders' Conference so far for an almost six years stay in the community.unlike the others who got frustrated when this was announced last MMLC , i was actually one of the few people who was excited to know that this will be in Baguio. the reason for my excitement was, i know i'll be able to attend because holding this in Baguio would mean not spending too much for accommodation & transportation that's why my meager money was actually enough but God was really generous to give me additional just in the nick of time (the reimbursement for my medicines was deposited while i was in baguio!).

just to enumerate all my learnings & realizations during the conference:
> redefining God's Gift : more than its romantic angle, God's Gift is actually your vocation (whether it's married life, single blessedness, priesthood, etc....) and there's no "lesser" gift because it's God-given.
> self-revolution is making a 180 degree turn from your bad old ways
> we should be radical Christians because the spiritual warfare has always been on-going, even worse than any other wars around
> on a more personal note, i was able to fully relate with the first talk & its sharer. i was able to realize that i have no acceptable reason to complain on life's hardships because Christ took even the more difficult road, experienced much deeper pain so as just to save us from sins
> i've gained so much in this conference, in fact more than all the realizations, the affirmation to still continue doing all my SFC activities with passion created so much impact on me. for one, it took away all my doubts as to what my real motives are in staying active in SFC...admittedly, it also dawned on me if i was just doing all these activities because i wanted to use the community as escape goat from life's realities. after the conference, all my questions were answered...this community should not be my escape goat. all the enjoyment, all the fulfillments, all the friends i've gained are God's rewards in heeding to His call. I'm more than blessed :)
> i've appreciated the chapter where i belong to even more...they're full of wisdom (double meaning, hehehe!), real, funny, and above all, MATURE! i need not elaborate more, all i can say is that my patience was once again tested.

GK 1MB {Gawad Kalinga Isang Milyong Bayani}

>feb 25th of this year marks EDSA 1's 20th anniversary. in celebration of the event,our community had HEROES BUILD in the morning. as usual,i helped in facilitating SAGIP activities...though really hot, it was a lot of fun!

>in the afternoon, all of us went to quezon city memorial circle and attended GK 1MB program...there, big and small heroes were recognized...i'm quite proud to be numbered along with them

>right after the program was the concert wherein two major bands were featured.i truly enjoyed the last band, bamboo...not only did i enjoy their songs and performance but i felt good to see once again my long-time object of infatuation, ira, bamboo's lead gitarist

>the tiring day ended with a ride of a lifetime :)

just scribbling them all down

today is one of those rare saturdays that i just need to sit down and rest. i'm supposed to be doing two major tasks : sagip in the morning and laundry (either before or after my sagip service). well, i wasn't able to do any of those. i spent my whole day watching tv and browsing the net. i know my brother is getting tired of my idleness lately (you should see him giving me litany all the time----i'm damn getting tired of those!). being idle is not even my nature,i just don't wanna tire myself too much lately. a day in the office is already too much for me to handle, when i get home,l i just wanna do one thing---REST. i have a rather logical explanation to that. you know, i used to contribute a lot at home in all aspects but for the past months now, i just couldn't do too much physical work. i feel that i haven't been breathing normally, i get tired easily and experience chest pains once in a while. yes, i've been seeing a doctor since december (right after i got hospitalized). i had one vaccination recently and will have another one this month. these vaccinations if not only would give me some sort of assurance of a better health is not something i will normally take. i find each shot quite costly, soooo way beyond my tight budget. my medicine for maintenance is also costly, i badly need to buy one already since the 60th inhalation has long been over but i couldn't afford it. my budget is quite tight, it's either i take the vaccination or buy that damn expensive medicine! another thing to consider is the upcoming SFC International Leaders' Conference next week at Baguio...i don't know how will i be able to manage the expenses there. i never had these soooo much pressure financially before, somehow i managed to play with what i have.maybe all these will also pass ---i don't really know how, honestly. every time, i wake up in the morning lately... i never fail to thank God for letting me still see another morning despite all the breathing problems :) somehow, i know i'll be able to manage all these---again, i really don't know how...maybe, God just loves me so much that He helps me bear all these:)

i need to just jot down some firstssssss for the year :
a) trip to indonesia

b) anti-bacteria vaccination
c) another major adjustment (new manager came in last month)

2 months !

it's exactly 2 months since i've posted last. . . blame it on my busy sched. how i miss blogging and i truly regret that i wasn't able to post some significant happenings recently (2 months is still recent right?). i'm currently on-leave from the office. my supposedly first two-days of vacation leave were spent in the hospital....life's been so stressfull, you know... and my asthma attacks became so frequent and there you go, right after my check-up, i was confined. i hated hearing all the "i told you so" from family and friends. i'm gonna be back to work tomorrow and yes, stressfull life will continue on. i'll be back to my workaholic self and puhleazze don't stop me, i still find "work" therapeutic (ironic, huh?)

'ey best wishes to ate jhett and kkk (kuya kokoy,hehehe!). they tied the knots last sunday.

our family pix :

with sfc (i think, gaining some weight right after that hospital rest ain't so bad after all) :

bora...

BORACAY !

i was able to visit boracay when we had our sales conference last week. i truly enjoyed it. i'm one of those lucky people who were able to visit the place during off-peak season. . . when the place is so serene with very few people in the island (at least fewer compared to summer!). pictures above were just photographs captured by my officemates during our island hopping. btw, i was able to kayak for teh first time during our amazing race teambuilding. i'll be posting more pictures soon. for now, just enjoy the view :)

c h a n g e s

"The only constant thing in this world is change"---I've been hearing this line numerous times when I was in high school. This was our directress' favorite line...believe me, like all other things that those nuns were telling us, this was one of those that I only remember due to repetition ... and later on became my constant reminder to cherish every moment and give importance to all things that I'm currently enjoying...BUT always make myself ready for whatever changes life's circumstances may bring.

It's been 10 years since I've graduated from high school and I just turned 27 last September 16. To enumerate worth-celebrating moments of my life…here are first moments that all happened when I was 26 years old:

1) I was able to ride a ferry boat
2) I was able to ride an airplane
3) I was able to ride LRT 2
4) I was able to reach far south of the Philippines (Cebu & Davao)
5) I was able to step on foreign countries (Singapore & Malaysia)
6) My siblings and I started renting an apartment (I really thought, we could never afford this at first...but God never fails to provide!)
7) I was able to hear my young siblings play the guitar
8) I was able to have my very 1st company health card (yeah, after soooo many jobs, I finally got the benefit)
9) I've started loving koreanovelas on local TV (blame it on my all-time favorite Korean film, My Sassy Girl)
10) I've started exploring MS excel. . . i'm not still proficient though but I could say I'm better now!
11) I teamled one SFC Christian Life Program
12) I've started handling SAGIP San Andres
13) I've given up badminton nights for other more important things (like household, work & health)
14) I was able to watch one major concert of Southborder and started loving them (read: they've been in the industry for more than a decade already and I just started liking them recently) . . .how I love "wherever you are"!

i really can't believe, I'm already 27.it seems i haven't done much in my life yet and there are still so many things to do. . .so many tasks yet to accomplish, so may dreams yet to realize. . .so many changes yet to happen. . .oh well, wisdom comes with age anyway so i might as well accept all these old-age jitters :)

TIMELINE

TWENTY YEARS AGO.
I was in kindergarden and encountered my very first conflict with a teacher.

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.
1990. I was in 5th Grade and stopped studying soooo hard. I was so into reading Sweet Dreams pocketbooks and started to explore arts in various forms.

TEN YEARS AGO.
1995 .I've graduated from high school and was in deep depression because I was having a hard time looking for a school in college, and hell yeah, having a tough time also in making up my mind to choose what course to take. I was eventually led to an all-girl college school (where I've never imagined I'll be spending college) and took bachelor of fine arts major in advertising.


FIVE YEARS AGO.
2000. A year after my dearest father's death. I'm trying to move on with my life after experiencing all the first moments without him (christmas, birthday, holy week, summer).

I joined Singles for Christ and started exploring how wonderful life is with Christ. I also entered my second job in this year, which was in Canelle Food Corporation (Cinnabon Philippines) which opened the doors in my marketing career.


THREE YEARS AGO.
2002.Due to health reasons and personal values & principles, I left Canelle Food Corporation and hopped to an administrative work in Meralco Foundation. There, I've met equally opinionated peers (like me!). This job has a very lax environment and bored me to death. With God's intervention (who somehow successfully worked hard to kick me out of this workplace eventually), i left the company after four months.

How could I ever forget this year? This was the year when that supposedly someone who should tie us all together as one family left us.

LAST YEAR.
2004. I was on my second year of involvement in CFC-Singles For Christ's work with the poor program called Gawad Kalinga(GK). I handled the documentation team and volunteered as a teacher for a weekly educational program for elementary-aged kids called SAGIP. I was also able to realize how fortunate I am despite all my trials. By last quarter of this year, my GK service was moved to another site .

This year, Feather Alley's Tuesday Badminton Club (composed of East A's SFC members) was also born.

My siblings and I started renting an apartment due to unavaoidable circumstances. We were also handling financial obligations by ourselves including tuition fees of our 2 siblings (which we started doing in 2003).

On my 2nd year at Caspian Concepts, a management firm for fine-dining restaurants. I was a one-woman marketing team with additional tasks of handling the restaurants, convenience store and e-hub inside the 3 ships of SuperFerry. During the last quarter of this year, I was actively looking for a new job due to work-related stress which I couldn't anymore handle and additional financial obligations which my meager salary couldn't support.In December, I was able to find a new job at RS Components Limited.


THIS YEAR.
As of this writing, I'm on my 9th month as RS Components Limited's Marketing Officer. I'm feeling the never-before pressure in my previous jobs.I'm not quitting yet, that's for sure.

I was able to step on Singapore,Malaysia, Davao and Boracay (soon) for the first time because of work.

My service in SFC was sort of lessen because I'm now trying to squeeze everything in, if there's spare time.

NEXT YEAR.
2006.I'll continue with whatever I'm doing---FAMILY,WORK, SFC and squeeze in time for friends.I have no clue if there will ever be transition. . .For sure there will be. . .my life is full of those!

TEN YEARS FROM NOW.
2015. I love to see myself as a family woman by that time. . .BUT if it turns out otherwise, I hope to be at least financially stable. I mean, at least not anymore renting an apartment but rather paying my own house and lot where third and tri-ann will be staying. Maybe, mom will also be with me. I hope to be out of credit card debts.I may still be employed but I’ll have more time to my other interests specifically arts. I hope to have a deeper and more meaningful personal relationship with God.

No definite plans obviously, as you all know, I don't really set goals…I just go with the flow :)

tired but still thankful

'ey everyone! it feels good to be back. month of august was really something and paper works in the office piled up tremendously. i know, i sort of owe people stories about my trip but there's nothing really to tell...i was most of the time inside a conference room in guoman resort,port dickson. take a glimpse of the beautiful place


i've enjoyed the view actually since my room is fronting the poolview and beachview.i wasn't able to bathe in the pool though...schedule was really tight, darn. i kinda hoped we were just in a hotel in the city so i could have at least strolled around in the evening. anyway, during my first few nights, i stayed at sheraton hotel in subang. a new ODS guy in RS MY named Timothy (who was staying in the same hotel where i was) was kind enough to accompany me to my 1st dinner at Malaysia during my first night. since we're both technically new (me, being in a foreign country and he, being barely a week-old employee at RS), we ended up spending breakfast, dinner and going to RS MY office and going back to the hotel. Leslie, the Tech Support guy from RS Singapore also joined us for dinner the 2nd night (guess why? same reason---he was also staying at sheraton). the three of us after dinner strolled in a mall (forgot the name but it's quite big and not as crowded as the malls here in PH). This was after my whole-day training of PIVOTAL with Beehong. my activities mainly in Malaysia are to eat, travel, training, meetin,meeting & meeting! nothing more to tell, really.

few days after malaysia trip, i flew to davao for our catalogue launch there. the last in our list...whew!i chanced upon meeting an old pal, agot when i was in the airport...we chatted while waiting for our flight sched, she was heading to cagayan de oro,also for official business.

davao launch, i can say is the most successful among our launches (in terms of attendance and preparation). i was also able to sneak some time to buy items for my siblings and friends....processed durian, anyone? candies, pies, yema...i still have more at home. here's our pic in one of the bars in davao, taken after the launch

when i went back to the hotel, i had a very relaxing massage (just to pamper myself once in a while. i guess, i deserve this one after all the hardwork!)

i arrived in manila last saturday and in the tradition of attending aby's birthday on 27th august, i went. she introduced me to her new boyfriend, dacs. can't help but feel happy for my friend...as long as you're happy, aby...GO!

to end the week, i attended my niece's baptism and stood as her godmother. travel was quite far though, it was in cavite.can you just imagine how tired i was? and bad news was our fickle-minded president, announced that we have work the next day despite the celebration of national heroes day. i couldn't get it are those heroes only heroes to students and working in goverment offices?

huh, really tiring activities. 'til now i haven't recovered with the busy sched that i had recently because i am now starting to do tons of pending works due to the trips. anyway, i still praise God for all the new & exciting experiences lately :)

need your prayers

just got back from our subic catalogue launch. 1 more launch to go and we'll be done with the series of launches. praise god! the launch was quite successful despite the storm. i'm so glad we were able to reach the site safely despite unlighted street and storm during our trip going there.

btw, on monday, i'll be leaving for malaysia for my in-depth pivotal training and to attend our regional marketing conference. this is quite one scary trip for me for this will be the first time i'm leaving the country alone (my boss will follow two days after though) and it will also be my first time in the said country. thank god malaysian folks were kind enough to give me necessary instructions.

people, please pray for me and send me text messages (dapat tagalog!). i'll be back on saturday, 20th july.i'll truly miss you guys.

Not His Best Time Yet . . . (i can fully understand, why can't they?)

I've always enjoyed family gatherings when I was growing up. I love seeing cousins (and other family members) whom I've not been seeing for a long time since most of my aunts and uncles (mother's side) live far south. I used to love chatting with them, talking about school happenings (when I was in college, the so-called fight with my college professor was such a hit . . .hahaha ! I can't believe I made them even prouder! Crazy family? Tell me about it!) and not to forget ---videoke to sawa. Oh, how I hated saying goodbye to relatives when we had to call it a day.

Please refer to above paragraph. I consciously used past tense. It's not that I now hate family gatherings; I just don't anymore look forward to one and should I need to attend one, I'd rather speak with younger folks (0-15 year olds) and should there be any chance so I can escape, I grab it immediately. Just in case you wanna know the reason. . .I simply hate being asked when will I show up having a boyfriend or when will I be married or when will I have children of my own. I'm sick and tired of it. . .sooooo sick and tired ! ! ! No, I don't feel pressured at all because I know God will give that special someone to me in His best time. For now, I just have to do all the responsibilities that He has given me and enjoy all my blessings. Okay, I must admit that I feel a little pressured during family gatherings when all they talk about is raising their own children and the like. But geez, most of the time, I'm quite occupied to even think about it.

I know, I'm not getting any younger. I'm 26 and will be 27 next month which is quite a critical age and if I intend to have children, I have to start looking around for a partner (unfortunately, I can't have asexual reproduction or not even worthy to have Immaculate Conception). Come on, my time is quite tight that even hanging out with friends (referring to non-SFC) should be scheduled ahead of time. SFC friends, however, since they all live nearby, always give me surprise visits whenever they feel like dropping by . . .that is, if I'm at home or not busy doing household chores.

I hope that my relatives will realize that I'm still a lady needs to be pursued. Unlike men, I can't just court any one. I also understand three kinds of men within my circle: men that get intimidated of me, men that are afraid to have commitment with someone like me (referring to eccentricities and responsibilities tagged along with me) and men who do not like me romantically. Believe me, I don't even have a hint of who falls into those categories; all I know is that those are three reasons why I never had any romantic relationships since birth. I don't wanna sound like rationalizing my being single, I'm not even complaining to God about it. His best time is yet to come and I'm in no hurry (really!).

Personally, I'm okay--- hypocrisy aside. My stature may look so out of the norm but don't my ways and my life always have been? I hope people (especially my relatives from both sides) will understand that though they may think of me as a control-freak, there are just some things in life that are way beyond my control and I respect the plans of someone from above for me. I can't simply do things my way.

T R I P

i went on a trip last weekend with my sfc community. it was quite a journey...together, we've travelled down memory lane on how we've journeyed our lives. there were too many questions running on my mind. sure, during my so-called "ride", i've encountered humps, there were crossroads, for some time it was a smooth ride only to realize that i took the wrong direction and needed to make a u-turn...apparently, i've never seen myself driving...i always have a "driver" and i know he'll always be in control. at times, i could really be so stubborn on insisting to take roads i think are right..he'll do as i wish and join me in trudging the direction i want, only to realize that he's leading me to the path he always wants me to take.sorry, i couldn't really "step on the gas", i'm just a passenger enjoying this ride.

just to add : sectormates, despite the failures...i believe we remain victorious for the simple reason that we fought a good fight! aja aja...FIGHTING!
(yes, we also deserved that VICTORY LINER ride, hahaha!)

usapang busmates

"everyone's getting married and species like us (the so-called "nbsb-type") just became rare and suddenly just became not normal"- - -as what my highschool busmate, ces and i recently talked about during one unexpected fx ride together. before, when we heard of someone we know getting married or having a baby, it was like receiving the greatest shocks of our lives but now, we just can't help not to envy their luck. . .hahaha!

funny that back in high school, all of us were just plainly admiring the supposedly world's half-population or what other girls refer as "boys" . back then, even the not -so-good-looking boys can still be anybody's object of affection in an all-girls school like ours . . .hehehe! now that most of my high school busmates (oh please include more than half of my batchmates, schoolmates, friends and mere acquaintances) have husbands already or at least have potential ones, i suddenly felt that when the world rotated, that certain part of my life never rotated along with them. truly, a lot of things have changed in my life except for my status. as one of my busmates and sister in sfc, ria once concluded that since my grade school days was the only time i actually mingled and dealt with boys daily, i never outgrew the "girls vs. boys" stage. well, i couldn't agree more.

this is not to shout to the world about my singlehood and how i am actually enjoying (and SOMETIMES NOT, admittedly) such status. what i'd like to stress in this entry is that it still surprises me how time can change or unchange life, and how certain part of our lives remain unpredictable. sometimes, you just can't tell your future, not even by tracing back your past nor by the goals you've once set to achieve.

usapang busmates . . oh, how i miss shallow, uncomplicated conversations. i never thought that recalling such events would give me an almost 2-hour fun. 'til next ride!

rest and relaxation

monday night was cramming night for me. i arrived home late and i had to prepare for my scheduled lower household the day after. i was browsing through christian references that i have but to no avail, i just couldn't find anything. when my sister arrived from her household, i asked what their topic was so i could probably just copy. she said, it came from "in his steps". sometimes i also use this as reference but as i was browsing, i remember sunday's gospel taken from matthew 11:28-30 "come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light". convinced that god will take care of me for the next day's household, i took rest and read my longtime favorite juvenile book, "wrong-way romance" until i fell asleep.

tuesday morning came, i gathered my household materials as i was preparing myself for work and planned to just browse again through my references in the office and just decide there. while i was getting my "perfect partner", i saw a paper inserted in it, a topic that was just given to us by ate lydia but never really discussed since we basically just visited a sick sister last time. . . the topic was "Jesus Took Time To Rest". . .whoa, just perfect!

here are some good points to ponder from our topic last night:

>>"come ye yourselves apart into desert place and rest a while" (Mark 6:31)

>> jesus was an action man, a people person. he produced. he healed. he preached and taught. he walked among the people. but he also knew the necessity of rest and relaxation.

>> rest and recreation are not sins. rest time is repair time. it is not loss of productivity. it is time for renewing. it is receiving time. it helps release your potential.

>> jesus understood the balance of rest and work, which might be the reason he was able to accomplish so much in three and one-half years. life is demanding. people are demanding. in fact, the more you succeed, the more people will demand of you.

>>stop your frantic push for success. take time to taste the present. the fires of desire will always rage within you. you must dominate the rage and focus it. learn to rest. jesus did.

just to share my answers from our discussion:

how often do you actually schedule rest and relaxation time?

i take naps during FX travels . i guess that's rest.

what do you do to rest your mind at work? At home?

i rest my mind from work when i'm at home and i rest my mind from home when i'm at work

If you had one full day to yourself, what would you do?

i'll escape reality for a while. . . go to the beach or an island. sleep, enjoy the sun, enjoy the scene, read a good book, have a movie marathon and eat, eat, eat!

the last question was our favorite. . .we all went to dreamland..hehehe!

Yes, I Can Work In A Neat Area

i'd like to share this picture because this might not happen again:

awhile ago, HR just needed to file pictures from each department in our respective areas, i was one of those people whose picture was taken last. for some they had to fix themselves...make-up, hair, etc...as for me ---> i just had to "clean" my work area first.okay, okay, i didn't "really clean" , i just put all the necessarry mess underneath the table.i'm quite proud it really looked clean and i'm sharing this pix to cherish the moment.

quizzes . . .

i think results are quite true . . . .

Your Birthdate: September 16

Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone. You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent. You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate. You are introspective and a little stubborn. Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family. This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations. The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you. Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach. You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions. Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

Who's" the True You?

if ever i'll be featured in YOU

it seems that more and more filipinos are getting fond of blogging. in one of my favorite sites, http://www.you.inq7.net , they feature bloggers there.so as to pretend, i'm one of the featured bloggers, i'd like to answer the questions they ask, here's what i'll probably say...

When and why did you start blogging and who got you hooked?

it actually started with an on-line journal called diaryland.it was around 2002 when on-line journals were featured in studio 23's digital tour. i tried having one for myself...i guess just like any other girl who was keeping a diary since grade school days, this was a more mature necessary approach to diarrying. for working girls like me, i think written journals are already pa-say. I get hooked for the love of words and self-expression. I actually do not promote my blogs in any way but when people find out about them, i welcome intruders to my not-so-private world.

What makes a blog better than a regular website? Did you try putting up your own site before you started blogging?

I never tried putting my own site before since i'm not so-html versed. Blogs are more user-friendly, i guess. I mean, you can change your templates any time you want and can easily just make another one if you want more.

Would you say that blogging is very addictive? How many people have you convinced to also start blogging?

Yes,it is very addicting whether if you're a blogger or just a blog-reader.I've come to know strangers and know more of people that I actually think I already know. I mean, reading entries and all somehow make me glance to their very soul.I really don't know if i have really ever convinced one soul to start blogging but i really hope i influenced one in some ways.

What blogging software do you use? What makes it better than other blogging services?
at the moment, i'm using http://www.blogger.com, it's so easy to use and very comprehensive. For people who' are not so-html versed like me, this is highly recommended.

What's your most memorable blogging experience?
I guess the hugs I get in my literature blog, i can't believe that there are actually people reading it. As I've told you awhile ago, I wasn't even promoting my sites...yeah, plural...I'm currently keeping two.I also get to meet fellow blog-enthusiasts.

I N D E P E N D E N C E

it's so good to arrive in the office early, as i can sneak some time for blogging like what i am doing now.yesterday was a real drag with heavy traffic and i even had a difficult time getting a ride back home in the evening, i almost forgot to mention...it was also drizzling.i wasn't able to eat dinner as i had to go straight to our monthly SFC chapter assembly, besides, the free lunch from chin was really heavy(yes, at least one good thing happened yesterday).

our assembly last night was all about independence, freedom, kalayaan...of course themed after the recent independence day.we were asked to share our first taste of independence, how we handled it and for some people, how they actually aspired to have one.on a regular basis, i shout names of brothers and sisters who seldom share during assemblies. i on the other hand, is actually a regular sharer especially when i have a new job (yeah, that regular!..hehehe!) i was actually caught unprepared when i was volunteered to share last night(yes, the bitter taste of karma!) uh,uh,oh....it was actually difficult (in my recent post, i just mentioned how hard it is for me to share)as i'm used to sharing about blessings, pleasant surprises but never an experience.to cut everything short, i gave an overview on how i've had a little independence when i was young and how it prepared me to a necessary independent-living that i'm having now. i told them that the real taste of independence isn't so sweet after all. for those people who are still living with parents... cherish those moments, enjoy it while it lasts. there are actually people like me who are actually wishing to enjoy the same moments, the same worry-free living (as there will always be parents who'll support and provide for your needs). i know how some people want to have independence but God is not giving them to you yet, it may not even be part of His plans for you but God's plans are always perfect so we should accept it. i, on the other hand have learned to accept God's plans and will for me, at least, though i couldn't anymore buy expensive clothes, dine to fancy restaurants and pursue passion at least i know where my money is going...not to savings but to those who've given my life a new, deeper meaning...my sibblings especially my BOJ :)

Missing My Siblings

prior to summer, i did intend to actually spend time as much as i can with my BOJ. unfortunately, due to work and community service, i wasn't able to to do so. last weekend, i sent them back to the province and it was again "holding-the-tears" moment for me...yeah, the toughie part of me wouldn't wanna show that i was actually regretting the times i should have spent with them, the times i even scolded them because of little matters that should have not bothered me at all but because i was damn tired, i had to release it, and the fact that i didn't have money to spend so we could have gone out of town or even give third a better, grander, more prepared birthday party. i wasn't even able to buy him a gift... i asked sorry coz the sudden transfer to another apartment is not something i've prepared for this summer thus some savings actually went to bill payments. truly, i feel blest that God gave them in my life...they can make me laugh, and at a very young age they can already understand what our family's going through. i hope i can make it up with them. i'm actually missing "pampaalis-pagod" hugs and kisses from 3-ann but i have to bear with the longingness i'm feeling.

while i was in the province, my grandparents talked to me... i almost cried. they're too good to be true. i figured, i'm actually mising parental figure and most of all parental concerns in my life. when my grandparents showed me how much they care for us, my tears rolled down...oh, my new glasses hid the tears so they weren't really obvious :) i'm so glad God allowed them to be still alive despite their old age.

Going To Cebu

peeps,

i'll be flying for Cebu tomorrow for our Catalogue Launch. Please do pray for my safe trip.

What I'll miss:

a) SAGIP Creative Fest and Recognition Day ---> I kinda miss going to Jansennville,this will supposed to be my chance to see together, both past and present SAGIP kids that I used to handle and currently handling PLUS cutey #3 of RIZAL SAGIP...hehehe!

b) 3 days with my siblings ---> referring to my BOJ of course! Next weekend, I'll be sending them to Pangasinan already for the start of another school year that's why I'm trying to maximize my time with them . so, so sad. . . I always have this pre-longingness syndrome all the time :(

c) lower household ---> i'll be endorsing my members to ria, they'll be joining her household. never done this before but i can't afford that they won't have a household meeting for this week, i'm done with my upper household last night. at least before i leave, we were able to pray for my trip :)

i hope, i'll be able to go around the city . . the last time i was there, i was only there for four hours and it was raining sooo hard. more importantly, i hope that our launch will be successful.

i'm counting on your prayers.to my SFC community, i'll see you on sunday for the family day . . . i wasn't able to commit to serve because of this launch but i'll see what i can do to help during the event. i'll be back on saturday.

CONFESSIONS OF A CLOSET WORRIER

I've tried boxing-in the little kid in me:

--> shy, moody, anti-social, good student, very opinionated, loner, dependent, worrier <--

I've managed to somehow master the skill of pretending to ignore things that seem to matter so much to other people. . .physical looks, getting good grades, commuting, finances, having a boyfriend and voila the new me was eventually born: YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS OF COOLNESS! I don't want friends who've known me as always the opposite of the "old me" that I had to struggle just to get this so-called "happy-go-lucky" stature that I have now . . .my attempt however, to throw my "old me" box wasn't successful. . .let me, enumerate the reasons:

As I put all those attitudes in my "old me" box ready to be thrown, I figured that those traits are the ones that made me an artist.If any one would be asked to describe an artist, for sure, those traits are included. You might be wondering now where the hell those traits are. . .man, it's still within me. Often times, to initiate a conversation even a plain conversation at that, I had to be ready with topics on my mind, I had to at least know where to start . . .and I would often practice on my mind how am I gonna deliver it . . .and yes, brothers and sisters in Christ even a simple sharing still needs a little practice. . .secretly, silently on my mind. Yes, I'm still that shy, little girl. I was really an anti-social, when I was a kid (my ate was the "biba" and I was the timid, intellectual type. . .yeah, I managed to get good grades in grade school) .Until now, I still have that anti-social tendencies, I enjoy it better when I'm alone reading books, simply watching videos at home alone, or dreaming in my sleep. I never liked big crowds, it suffocates me but somehow I was able to create an attitude that I am a "party girl". I had my first taste of alcohol when I was 8 ('ey, I thought it was pineapple juice!), I started going to parties when I was 12 (not the children's party type, okay?), I started going to gimmicks when I was 14 (I was even provided with gimmick allowance!). . .man, my father was really supportive to all these activities that's why I was never tempted to abuse my early independence. Somehow, at an early age I already started practicing self-control so as not to displease my parents. I am a proud virgin, I never tried drugs (if my asthma medicines won't be counted), I never tried smoking cigarettes (yes, not even a puff!) but boy, I must admit that I enjoyed the taste of that "pineapple juice". . .hell, yeah, stopping to drink alcohol was another struggle for me (full details? nah, maybe in another entry, okay?) . . . going back, and let me just stress that I was already practicing self-control even in drinking . . . good thing , I was able to do it liberally at home with dad :)

In school, my circle of friends has always been small, someone whom I can just share lunch daily and another one to keep me company in case my constant companion would be absent was already enough. I was doing exceptionally well when I started going to school (Daily Vacation Bible Study and Sunday School included) and somehow, I was feeling the "pressure" to always get good grades. On 5th Grade, I stopped studying hard but continued my love for reading literature and concentrated on art exploration. I started listening to different kinds of music (from Beatles to Smokey Mountain), I tried painting (I couldn't draw though but I do love using the brush and experimenting on colors) and started writing journal entries . . . basically, I've learned to have fun alone. The inner critic in me though was something that I couldn't manage to remain hidden, I was commenting on every little detail, I would question the world, I wanted answers to all my questions and I started giving opinions even if not needed. People find that funny and I was gaining more friends. That started my so-called social life . . . and couldn't stop it. Having blessed with the coolest dad in the world, I was able to explore life, provided that when He said NO, I had to obey. That wasn't much of a problem since this seldom happens and somehow I could get through using my charm and persistence. Without really noticing it, the trace of the "old me" is nowhere to be found. No longer the shy, moody, anti-social kid that I was, I have become the life of the party. Blame it on my witty, funny, sometimes-hurtful comments. People can never describe me now as the intellectual type, I have transformed to a cool artist. Well, my being very opinionated remains intact, obviously. People will laugh if I say that I'm a loner and still dependent. For some of you who knows that I work terribly hard because of my financial obligations (read: bils, bills and bills!) and to support my BOJ (read: Bundle of Joy - - - 3-ann and 3rd), I might be the most independent person you know. . . living only with my siblings without helpers and supporting my siblings at that, but I got tiny, little secret I just need to share and stress - - - I PRAY, I PRAY AND PRAY HARD EACH AND EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE so that I can somehow manage to survive. I am still that old kid . . .and yes, the main reason why I wasn't able to successfully throw the "old me" box was - - -I am attributing what I am now to my "old me". That little kid in me is a constant reminder how I need God's great power above to surpass all my trials, overcome my weaknesses and insecurities and that I need not pretend that some important matters that matter so much to other people do not really matter to me because really, they don't now. . .cliche as it may sound, but God alone is already enough. . .I'm enjoying this simple life now, I still of course dream big . . .but no longer for myself alone (how about world peace, huh?), I still of course wonder if I'll ever get married and have my own children (and when will my little girl named Tala be born?), I still hope for the day that my family would be in a more normal stature . . .admittedly, I still worry too much but I thank God for all these worries because I have reasons to pray more :)

Another Confession: This was an attempt also to write a non-faith, non-Christ centered entry but I honestly couldn't help it. . . He's THE BLOOD running through my veins, keeping me alive :)

To Dance With My Father Again

after so many months, i was able to visit my father's tomb again yesterday.it was mother's day but i always had good and fun memories with my father whenever this occassion arrives. it's been totally different now for almost six years. my last memory of him of mother's day before he died in 1999 is when we invited his siblings along with their families to celebrate the occassion together...i thought i could let go of my father's memories in time, but i don't know why i always associate things with his memories...i'm so attached and i'll forever be papa's girl. i'm not even sure if i've already recovered from his death...i know, i have to but i couldn't, i simply just can't.

here's one song that can summarize all the longing i feel now.i miss dancing with my father and most of all i miss seeing him dancing with mom...

To Dance With My Father Again
by Luther Vandross

Back when I was a child
before life removed all the innocence
my father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then
spin me around till I fell asleep
then up the stairs he would carry me
and I knew for sure, I was loved

If I could get
another chance
another walk
another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
how I'd love my lord
to dance with my father again

when I and my mother would disagree
to get my way I would run from her to him
he'd make me laugh just to comfort me
then finally make me do just what my momma said
later that night when I was asleep
he left a dollar under my sheet
never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance,
one final step
one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
cause I'd love,my lord, to dance with my father again

sometimes I'd listen outside her door
and hear my mother cry for him
I'd pray for her even more than me
I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying
for much too much
but could you send back
the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
but dear lord she's dyin
to dance with my father again

every night I fall asleep
and this is all I ever dream

SFC-Christian Life Program

'ey peeps, you can still join. next week, we'll have Talk #2 :) ang saya, ang saya mag-SFC :)

let me talk about what's happening for the last couple of months...

Internal Catalogue Launch...spent 5 whole days in Subic...whatta week! this happened around 3rd week of March.It was quite fun. This was the very first time I spent time with RS people outside office. I would normallycome out in my "aquarium" only during lunch time. the only time i get to really chat with them. This time around, it was different, I've quite bonded with them. ..got pictures...take a peek ;)

ROBBED....we've been robbed thrice in our present apartment so we're moving to a new one this month. sadly, we lost 3 cellular phones already and a watch which was my mom's christmas gift to me.

BUNDLE OF JOY...third and 3-ann are back to spend vacation here :) i now always look forward to going home each night.

let me just sing this ....may tatlong bear sa loob ng isang bahay. si papa bear, si mama bear, si baby bear. si papa bear ay malakas, si mama bear ay maganda, si baby bear ay napakaliksi.tingnan ny, tingnan nyo, ang saya nila...FULL HOUSE...my new source of happines :P

mother role

i'll be doing mother role again and quite excited about it. i'm really looking forward to thursday because my older sister and i will be travelling to pangasinan. you see, my younger sister will be having her first communion and we'll be attending it. for unavoidable complicated reasons, my mom can't simply attend...my grandfather doesn't want her to...anyway, i just bought a real nice white dress (ouch, quite expensive though) for her and a pair of white shoes. i know she'll be so beautiful with that dress as she naturally is a real beauty...mana sa ate :)

since it's love month

you read it right...i'm gonna be talking about love in this entry ---very unlikely of me, huh? these past few days, i've been encountering love in very unique ways


LOVE THY NEIGHBOR...as the great commandment states. last saturday, i attended a gk breakfast forum. just like any gk breakfast forum, it talked about how we can help the poor, the irony there, is that it was held in a very exclusive venue, the manila polo club...yes there's always "the" before "manila polo club". just like....hehehe never mind :) with us were our fellow gk volunteers and also with the audience were prominent businessmen and their invited guests. that's what i love about gk...poor and rich work together for a better country...you learn not to complain but at least be part of the solution of our country's problems.true enough as we have become witnesses in this great work of God...more and more people experience change in so many ways...GK does not only transform lives of its beneficiaries, it also transforms lives of individuals of gk volunteers and partners, it transforms corporate values, it gives you a sense of pride that you are a filipino, it gives no room to hopelessness, it simply makes you believe in miracles. i was so touched by the sharings of the three Concepcions (grandson-son-father). each of them experienced change because of GK and what's so nice about it is that, they are spreading this great work to their friends, families and employees.

PLATONIC LOVE, FICTIONAL ROMANTIC LOVE....my expertise, hehehe :) ask me about how i manage to keep everything platonic...how? i also don't know. my problem is i couldn't see men in a romantic way. as long as i'm not seeing any extra attention, any extra care, any verbal expression of romantic love . . . only friendship remains. yeah, i manage to have this lovey-thingy on those who are either married, public figures or friends of my friends who don't know me. . . i don't wanna entertain pressure on this side of life...hell yeah, i'm getting older but at the moment, i'm quite happy on how things are. . . i've been enjoying single life and my so-called fictional romantic lovelife. can i just add that i'm not affected by teasing in any way?but just lately i asked my friend to stop teasing me to those men that she thinks are quite good enough for me . . . simply because i realized one thing...somehow, it's affecting my so-called marketability. . .hehehe :) i don't wanna be romantically identified to anyone who in reality has nothing to do with me romantically. again, i'm stressing on "marketability".

LOVING GOD . . . ahem, ahem quite a familiar title to my sfc community, huh? yes, let me talk about clp's talk # 5. just last night, i attended a teaching of "Emmanuel" community at Greenbelt chapel. their speaker was bo sanchez and i manage to grasp useful points in his talk:

a) God wants us to love and praise in the best way how he created us. he made us human beings, and he wants us to be the best human being on earth then give him the best kind of love that a human being can give. let us not over-spiritualize things. yes, all of us have that tendency...i ,for one, is quite guilty on this. let us allow God to mold us with his terms, not on ours.

b) if we love God, let us not skip failures. satan is actually tempting us to skip hardships...if there's an easier way of doing things, we naturally give in. but that's not how God wants it to be. hardships and failures are part of life,it's part of God's plan so that we can grow. it is in our failures and hardships that we can fully see God because during these dark moments, we can feel that he is ever present.

HAPPY LOVE MONTH TO ALL ! >MWAH<

yeah, i missed home

i have become a delinquent blogger. i just couldn't update my blog anymore the way i used to before :( yeah, quite busy...my so-called new career has been taking so much of my time. anyway, i have lots of stories to tell...hope i won't miss anything...i'll be relying on my unreliable memory....

SINGAPORE TRIP >>> i had a very relaxing trip. i was just in the hotel most of the time. i had a daily buffet breakfast ...yum, yum! nightly bubble bath....oooh..... and a whole day of meeting with fellow marketers of RS South Asia. since i'm the newest member of the team, the meeting was generally educational for me. i enjoyed talking to them...hell, i was extremely quiet ...can you believe that? of course, i had a hard time throwing jokes at them ! they were generally nice and funny...traits that are very common to all asians, i guess. Singapore is really clean, they have very disciplined people and above all....EVERYTHING'S JUST SO EXPENSIVE! so there, i wasn't able to bring pasalubong to friends.

i was able to reach home in the afternoon....i hate the filipino cab driver that i got from the airport. what can i do? no one can fetch me from there since everyone else in the family was so busy because of my grandparents' 6oth wedding anniversary celebration. anyway, when i was able to reach home, i learned that the robber entered our house when i was abroad and got my mobile phone and the watch that my mom gave me last christmas.at least no one was hurt....except my pocket...i had to buy a new cell phone again. this is the 3rd time that i lost my phone from a robber.and i still love the philippines, huh?

THE WEDDING ANNIVERSARY >>> hey, my grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last january 29. can yopu believe that? how sweet, huh? a friend's brother led the ceremony of renewal of vows and of course my grandparents were so surprised with alll the preparations we did for them.during the program, my brother third and sister tri-ann rendered an acoustic performance,one grandchild per family gave tribute to our grandparents...aaaawww...really touching, i must say. being a papa's girl, i almost cried when i saw my aunt dancing with my grandfather. my father and i used to dance a lot, you know? i just envied my aunt for being 40 something and still dancing with her father and there i was, a 20 something girl seated with my friends because my father was no longer around...i miss him still, the celebration could have been more fun with him....my life could have been more fun if he's still around. he brought so much joy in my life...in our lives actually, for he has been the source of happiness of our family when he was still alive.well, i guess 5 years ago, our father up above told him that it's time that he experience joy himself for he has brought so much to everyone already.

we had coffee at starbucks after the celebration. we were with sfc friends and had chit-chat...geez i missed talking to filipinos, i missed starbucks...hell, yeah, i missed home :)

off to a marketing conference

hi everyone....just wanna let you know that i'll be away starting january 26 (that's tomorrow) and will be back in the afternoon on the 29th. i'm flying to singapore for a marketing conference. i'll be meeting the RS marketing people of Singapore and Malaysia. it's gonna be my first trip abroad and i'm requesting for prayers from all of you for a safe trip. how i wish this wasn't so short-noticed 'coz i'm honestly going there with a very tight budget. don't expect pasalubong, okay? i'll try though :)

my sassy girl

wanna die? ? ?

that's one really funny scene from a korean movie, my sassy girl...it's one of my favorite films. it's not shallow, it's not too dramatic, it's intellectually funny, it's one film that you have to have your eyes glued on screen....oh well, because if you're not korean-speaking, you gotta read the sub-title...hehehe. i always watch this whenever i feel down, whenever my SFC sisters want to have fellowship by doing movie marathon at home or whenever i need to have a stress reliever.one more thing, i don't know why i can really relate to this film....hell, of course i know....i'm a sassy girl myself...movie rating: constellation of stars :)

pictures galore

i recently uploaded this picture as my primary photo in friendster. i obviously love making faces, don't i? unlike others, i don't wanna look pretty on cam...i hate well-practiced smiles and poses...no further explanations.

events during the holidays

the holidays are over :( so sad. 3-annn and 3rd was able to spend christmas and new year with us and i'm starting to miss them. my bundle of joy is what i call them.3-ann has additional songs in her list that she can sing...officially missing you, torete, let me the one and she even surprised me when she showed me that she can now play the guitar...last summer, she was just playing with some chords but now she can play a full-length song..."noypi"!3rd on the other hand, already became a guitar expert...haay.... some of the things that make me proud i'm their sister.

over the holidays, i was able to complete the "simbang gabi" with my sfc sisters. i also attended family reunion and so glad to see my relatives once again.

at the moment, i'm trying to learn everything here in my new job..believe me, this is far from the 4 other jobs i had in the past.i'm experiencing information-overload and i feel dizzy every time i see graphs and numbers...i always think of myself as creative not logical.geez, it's like having nose-bleed all the time.i've been going home really late and missing all the things i used to enjoy like watching extra challenge and mulawin, cooking dinner for my siblings and most of all...BADMINTON! i hope this won't be forever...i even had to move my usual wednesday night household meetings to sunday.

btw, i might have my first trip abroad this month. hopefully, if i can avail my passport by next week, i'll be able to join my boss at singapore for a marketing conference. it's also okay if i won't be able to join him because on the 29th, i need to attend the 60th wedding anniversary of my grandparents :) cool! if singapore won't push thru...i know there will still be other business trips coming.

in addition, my sister just got engaged....i'll be her very beautiful maid of honor in december :)