About my Blog

Stories of a thirty something girl. She travels.She reads.She writes.She dreams.She prays.She lives.

Mar 20, 2009

MY ONE TRUE LOVE by Dolly Macam, SFC South B5A

reposting this entry from SFC website.
haay, i wish i was the one who wrote this, hehe...it's just sooo beautifully written.highlighted are the ones that struck me personally...read on and hope this sharing will bless you the way it did to me..

I am being pursued by God since the day He brought me to this world. He gave me a set of parents who would give me the greatest gift of all: my faith. Having introduced me to prayer at an early age, I was able to seek God on my own and that beautiful beginning set me on a personal journey to a deeper relationship with Him.

I encountered God in various ways at different stages in my life. Sometimes He is Healer, Teacher, Brother, Redeemer, Provider, Consoler, Protector, Personal Savior and Friend. I first came to know Him by the Name of Jesus.

Jesus is the One who died for me. He is the Savior of Mankind and God`s Only Begotten Son. Jesus Christ is my Master and I am His disciple. Jesus is the one I call when I am afraid. He is the one I beg for help when I am in need. It is in His name that I ask all things from the Lord. And His name is the most powerful weapon here on earth.

Later, I would call on Him to come as the Holy Spirit. He is my inspiration. He tells me how to communicate with God. He guides me and animates my soul through His various gifts. He fills me and gives me grace to do good things and to overcome temptations.Surprisingly, the very last Name for me to call upon Him was Father. But when I did, He became Father to me in the truest sense of the word. He is the Father who lets me sleep all morning. I may have missed the sunrise but He will make sure I saw the bright moon and the stars. He is the Father who provides for my family and makes sure everyone is safe and healthy. He is the Father who gives me money to spend for my needs but reminds me to give Him what is His. He is the Father who disciplines me but at the same time shows me forgiveness, mercy & love. He is the Father who listens to my woes of love and soothes my hurts. And He is the same Father I can just be the silly me with and who will never laugh or yawn at the mundane, trivial, crazy details I tell Him about my life.

Perhaps, God has finally caught up in His pursuit of me and my being able to call Him Father and seek Him with all my heart was how I know our relationship has reached an entirely new level.
When I sought God, He did not disappoint me. He immediately made Himself known. He allowed Himself to be found, like He promised me in Jeremiah. I found a hunger for Him that could never quite be satisfied. He gave me a new appreciation for His Word. He speaks to me most clearly when I pray the Bible. He allows His living Spirit to fill me and enable me to counsel my brothers and sisters in need of comfort, understanding and love. He also enlivened in me the desire to receive Him in daily communion. And He gives me the grace to reconcile myself with Him to purify this spiritual union.

As my relationship with Him grew, my encounters with Him became more familiar and I have come to know Him in more intimate ways. Sometimes He is simply Listener. Sometimes He is the perfect Gentleman. He talks to me over cups of coffee. He says something to me from a book or a line from a movie. He reaches out His hand to me through a friend. He moves me through nature`s bounty and beauty. He admonishes me in the confessional. He loves me through my parents. He affirms me through the random people He sends me to practice His most favorite verb, love.

But I do not always see God`s hand at work. When He calls me, I do not always respond immediately. And my answer is not always yes. Sometimes I consider His work as my work. When He commands me, I forget that He has already planted the seeds and given them life; that all I really needed to do was to tend to them.

Sometimes I feel the weight of responsibility for His people heavy on my shoulders, forgetting that the burden is not mine to lift but His. I sometimes listen to the evil voices reminding me of my unworthiness, making me feel unequal to the task. I forget that the One who sends me is the limitless source of all strength and I will be prepared for the mission at hand. I forget also that God has riddled my life with trials and sufferings that already molded my character and refined, if not perfected my faith. I forget that I have been well and truly broken especially for God`s holy purpose.

Fortunately, these memory losses are but short-term. He sends legions of angels to remind me that I am His and that He is in charge of every aspect of my life.If I have suffered enough and cried out for help, He would always make sure I have learned the lesson first before He exempt me or take me away from the experience. His tests are only difficult if I do things my way. The evil one will show me ways to cheat. He will tempt me to choose what is convenient over what is right. And sometimes, he will also make me feel it is more important to be right than to be good. But God`s rules on good and evil are unchanging and could never be manipulated. No matter how modern the times may be, His laws could never be compromised. I love how patient He is with me when I choose convenience over righteousness, or pride over goodness. I love how lovingly He corrects me even when my mistakes have caused others and Him great pain. I love how He continues to love me and shower blessings upon me even though I have been far away from Him. He never fails to remind me that He has never forgotten me even if I have forgotten Him.

What I love most are the times God gives me a second chance to make things right, to do better, to forgive, to reach out, to take responsibility, to bring peace, to serve, to love. He makes me feel like my past mistakes never happened; that when I repented for all my sins, I am made as white as snow by His forgiveness. He gives me a clean slate. He gives me a fresh start. He gives me more than I deserve. Those times are the best…to be back in God`s favor, to admit mistakes and learn from them, to know humility and know I have nothing to boast before God, to surrender everything and let His will be done.

When God gave the instructions in Corinthians on how to love, He was really speaking to me about the kind of Love He has for me. And He never gave instructions which He never backed up by solid examples. The whole story of Jesus` Crucifixion is a poignant love story…and a seemingly unrequited one at that. When my mother told me this story when I was a little girl, I wanted to do physical harm to everyone who ever caused Jesus pain. Now I am older, I die a little death for the pain I myself have inflicted upon Him.

Sometimes I wonder where that little girl had gone. I wonder how I allowed the world to soil my soul and corrupt my heart. But when God looks at me, He only sees that little girl who loved Him with all her heart. And He gently coaxes me to let that little girl out and love Him again. He reaches out His hand, silently asking me to have faith in Him. And little by little, that child-like trust and love for God fought their way out. And I am His little girl once more. My Father`s love has never left me empty or cold or wanting. He has made me complete as a person and restored my heart for loving again. He taught me to put the past where it belongs and let Him take care of my future. He only asks me to live NOW. To be present in this moment and open my eyes to His many blessings that are sometimes disguised as adversities. To learn from and appreciate all the people He has handpicked to give me my life`s lessons. But most especially, He asks me to believe and not be afraid.

He is my one true love. He has sewn the blueprint of this love into the tapestry of my soul. This is my map, my guide, my compass if I ever lose my way home. He made sure I can just close my eyes and think of Him and my heart will know where to go. My love for Him is not perfect. But the important thing is that His love for me is. And if I fix my eyes on Him, I will slowly but surely learn His ways.

My life could not be more perfect because I am confident that I am loved perfectly by God. This unshakable truth is my foundation to loving myself more, to loving others more, and most especially, to loving God more. What can I say? I`m a Daddy`s girl.

He is more than enough for me and in Him, my joy is complete...what more could a girl ask for? =)