About my Blog

Stories of a thirty something girl. She travels.She reads.She writes.She dreams.She prays.She lives.

Aug 10, 2005

Not His Best Time Yet . . . (i can fully understand, why can't they?)

I've always enjoyed family gatherings when I was growing up. I love seeing cousins (and other family members) whom I've not been seeing for a long time since most of my aunts and uncles (mother's side) live far south. I used to love chatting with them, talking about school happenings (when I was in college, the so-called fight with my college professor was such a hit . . .hahaha ! I can't believe I made them even prouder! Crazy family? Tell me about it!) and not to forget ---videoke to sawa. Oh, how I hated saying goodbye to relatives when we had to call it a day.

Please refer to above paragraph. I consciously used past tense. It's not that I now hate family gatherings; I just don't anymore look forward to one and should I need to attend one, I'd rather speak with younger folks (0-15 year olds) and should there be any chance so I can escape, I grab it immediately. Just in case you wanna know the reason. . .I simply hate being asked when will I show up having a boyfriend or when will I be married or when will I have children of my own. I'm sick and tired of it. . .sooooo sick and tired ! ! ! No, I don't feel pressured at all because I know God will give that special someone to me in His best time. For now, I just have to do all the responsibilities that He has given me and enjoy all my blessings. Okay, I must admit that I feel a little pressured during family gatherings when all they talk about is raising their own children and the like. But geez, most of the time, I'm quite occupied to even think about it.

I know, I'm not getting any younger. I'm 26 and will be 27 next month which is quite a critical age and if I intend to have children, I have to start looking around for a partner (unfortunately, I can't have asexual reproduction or not even worthy to have Immaculate Conception). Come on, my time is quite tight that even hanging out with friends (referring to non-SFC) should be scheduled ahead of time. SFC friends, however, since they all live nearby, always give me surprise visits whenever they feel like dropping by . . .that is, if I'm at home or not busy doing household chores.

I hope that my relatives will realize that I'm still a lady needs to be pursued. Unlike men, I can't just court any one. I also understand three kinds of men within my circle: men that get intimidated of me, men that are afraid to have commitment with someone like me (referring to eccentricities and responsibilities tagged along with me) and men who do not like me romantically. Believe me, I don't even have a hint of who falls into those categories; all I know is that those are three reasons why I never had any romantic relationships since birth. I don't wanna sound like rationalizing my being single, I'm not even complaining to God about it. His best time is yet to come and I'm in no hurry (really!).

Personally, I'm okay--- hypocrisy aside. My stature may look so out of the norm but don't my ways and my life always have been? I hope people (especially my relatives from both sides) will understand that though they may think of me as a control-freak, there are just some things in life that are way beyond my control and I respect the plans of someone from above for me. I can't simply do things my way.